Helping Girls See Beyond the Filter

By middle school, many girls start to feel more self-conscious about how they look.

Even if your daughter doesn’t have her own phone yet, she’s already soaking up images of what mainstream “pretty” and “perfect” look like from ads, TV shows, magazines, and even from older kids.

Teaching our girls to look at these images with curiosity instead of comparison is one of the best gifts we can give them. Here are a few simple ways to encourage that awareness:

Spot the Edit
When you see an idyllic image in an ad, ask: “Do you think this photo has been edited? Why might the company want to change how she looks?”

🍒 Takeaway: Edits aren’t about you being less-than, they’re about brands trying to sell something.

Decode the Message
Dig deeper: “Do you think this ad is saying you’ll be cooler/prettier/more popular if you buy this?” Let her share what she likes or doesn’t like about the message.

🍒 Takeaway: Products can be fun, but they don’t define your worth.

Reframe Compliments
Try swapping appearance-based compliments (“you’re so pretty”) with affirmations about her character (“you’re brave,” “you’re creative”).

🍒 Takeaway: You are valued and celebrated for who you are, not only how you look.

Model It Yourself
Point out edits or filters when you see them: “Wow, that filter makes her skin look like plastic, nobody looks like that in real life.” This shows her it’s normal to question, not just absorb.

🍒 Takeaway: If mom doesn’t accept these standards at face value, I don’t have to either.

At veri cheri, we believe self-care isn’t about “fixing” girls, but about giving them tools for expression and strength. The more we encourage them to keep it real, celebrate differences, and lift each other up, the broader their definition of beauty becomes - and, ultimately, the more confident they’ll feel being themselves.